Mostly Pointless

command & conquer + time travel = broken brain

Fri, 03 Apr 2009 22:27:56 GMT

http://www.achrongame.com/

Someone's come up with an RTS game that incorporates time travel as a game mechanic. My brain falls apart if I even try to comprehend the kind of strategies one could come up with for this :D

(Actually I think the term 'RTS' might be inadequate for describing this game)

In honour of the snow day

Mon, 02 Feb 2009 19:20:21 GMT

Link here

I'm afraid, love, this time it looks like it's going to be custodial

Wed, 03 Dec 2008 00:43:23 GMT

Continuing the theme of 'videos I thought were funny', this is a short sketch from the brilliant sitcom 15 Storeys High

Look! It's Mark Lamarr all silvered up!

Now you can jog OUTSIDE!

Thu, 27 Nov 2008 20:45:57 GMT

Thanks to this amazing new invention, you are no longer confined to the inside of a gym when you want to jog on a treadmill - now you can get all the benefits of jogging on a treadmill while enjoying the outside air. That's right, some dumb motherfucker has invented this:

The treadmill with wheels.

It seems to be real, because it has a website.

Attention people with lives...

Mon, 17 Nov 2008 01:54:07 GMT

... I have rediscovered the solution to your problems

Play Dwarf Fortress

Ignore the crappy-looking website and download the game, then spend thirty minutes smashing your face against the learning ~~curve~~ cliff, then when it all clicks you'll notice that it is dawn and you have spent all night playing...

Build a fortress for your dwarves, have them make all kinds of useful things, hope they don't starve, then get invaded by goblins or giant spiders or elephants and have all your dwarves killed, the build a new fortress and start again but with more traps :D

Killer GM

Wed, 12 Nov 2008 00:16:03 GMT

www.blurrrville.com

Some more random shit I find

Tue, 11 Nov 2008 00:23:32 GMT

www.blurrrville.com

Many of the others are better than this one. Everyone should read them.

Japanese man wants to marry cartoon character

Fri, 31 Oct 2008 03:26:32 GMT

It's not often that I reprint entire news articles here, but this caused a complete WTF moment when I read it, so I though I would share :D

A Japanese man has enlisted hundreds of people in a campaign to allow marriages between humans and cartoon characters, saying he feels more at ease in the "two-dimensional world."

Comic books are immensely popular in Japan, with some fictional characters becoming celebrities or even sex symbols. Marriage, meanwhile, is on the decline as many young Japanese find it difficult to find life partners.

Taichi Takashita has launched an online petition aiming for 1 million signatures to present to the Government to establish a law on marriages with cartoon characters.

Within a week he has gathered more than 1,000 signatures through the internet.

"I am no longer interested in three dimensions. I would even like to become a resident of the two-dimensional world," he wrote.

"However, that seems impossible with present-day technology. Therefore, at the very least, would it be possible to legally authorise marriage with a two-dimensional character?"

Befitting his desire to be two-dimensional, he listed no contact details, making it impossible to reach him for comment to explain if his campaign is serious or tongue-in-cheek.

But some people signing the petition are true believers.

"For a long time I have only been able to fall in love with two-dimensional people and currently I have someone I really love," one person wrote.

"Even if she is fictional, it is still loving someone. I would like to have legal approval for this system at any cost," the person added.

Japan only permits marriage between human men and women and gives no legal recognition to same-sex relationships.

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2008/10/30/2405987.htm

The reasoning behind this is... unfathomable to me.

more stuff

Mon, 29 Sep 2008 19:03:54 GMT

Can you guess that I'm not at work today?

For Daniel - a poem

Mon, 29 Sep 2008 15:09:15 GMT

The other day we were talking about the horrors of fanfiction and it reminded me of a poem I once read which I will reprint here.

A's for Amanda
Our hero's twin sister
Got lost as a baby
And gosh, how he missed her
He always suspected
He had a half lacking
He set off to find her
By magical tracking
So now they're together
And smiling a lot
Too bad that the story's
Got no trace of plot

-:-

B is for Bridget
Who's named for the author
She could have been subtle
But just didn't bother
Yet somehow I doubt
That the writer's a d-cup
Or sings like an angel
With nary a hiccup
Or doesn't need glasses
Or looks like a hottie
Or ever will earn
Her black belt in karate

-:-

C is for Clementine
Good on a broom
The fastest of flyers
Just look at her zoom!
The new school all-star
She aims like a dream
They haven't lost once yet
Since Clem made the team!
But the other side's jealous
And might not play fair
Will they cheat 'til she loses?
... does anyone care?

-:-

D's for Diana
Her story's a wreck!
With no sign of grammar
Or any spell-check
The readers sent email
To justly complain
But all of their efforts
Turned out to be vain
The author replied with:
"Who cares how it's written?
"It's only a fanfic!
"You're mean, and kick kittens!"

-:-

E is for Elwen
An elf in her glory!
Who seems unware
That she's in the wrong story
Like all of her people
She's comely and wise
The hardest heart melts
At her come-hither eyes
But how did she get here?
There aren't any clues
And the author won't tell
'Til she gets more reviews

-:-

F for Furiko
Who came from the East
Her father's a magical
Shrinekeeper priest
She brought her katana
And swings it with ease
And she'll say 'onegai'
Instead of just 'please'
Each chapter begins with
A guide to the phrases
And thanks the reviewers
For singing her praises

-:-

G is for Georgia
Likes watching TV
Replaying the movie
Upon DVD
'Til one day by magic
The screen opened wide
Before Georgia knew it
It sucked her inside!
Now she'll save the hero
By hook or by crook
She knows all the future
'Cause she's read the book

-:-

H starts the name
Of a girl called Heather
An element witch
Who can magic the weather
A sunshiny day
Means she's merry and glad
But thunder and snowstorms
Show up when she's mad
And should she be sleeping
And having strange dreams...
I suppose that might be why
It's raining sardines

-:-

I for Isolda
Who's nasty and mean
The worst evil sorceress
You've ever seen
The Dark Lord is naught but
Her grovelling bitch
No-one out-evils
This black little witch!
It runs in her family
Right down in her roots
But without a good beta
Her plots become ploots

-:-

J is for Janviere
Frozen and cold
A silent immortal
A thousand years old
Ever since she discovered
The Sorcerer's Stone
There have been none to love her
She wanders alone
Her tale is tragic
With no-one to tell
Where she hid the body
Of Nicolas Flamel

-:-

K is for Kimberly
Nothing but trouble
There's chaos a boiling
In her cauldron's bubble
The girl's a genius
Her pranks are the best!
But all of the teachers
They think she's a pest
Four times in a row
She's been kicked out of school
To let her in here
The headmaster's a fool

-:-

L for Lorraina
The heir to three thrones
She dresses in ballgowns
And wears precious stones
But deep in her heart
She's so royally lonely
She longs for a prince
To love her and her only
She wants to be treated
Like all other girls
Perhaps if she'd dump
The tiara and pearls

-:-

M is for Madysonne
Fresh from the states!
Like totally awesome
This chica, she rates!
She brought with her all of
Her favourite CD's
And might let you listen
If you just say please
She's spreading the music
As far as she can
And somehow I'm guessing
The author's a fan

-:-

N is for Naoko
In space she has dwelt
Her real name's Sailor
Asteroid Belt
A student by day
Vigilante by night
A short-skirted soldier
In crimson and white!
But what will she do when
Her secret's discovered?
Why, sex up the hero
And make him her lover!

-:-

O for Ophelia
The evil guy's daughter
Her life is so awful
Her tears flow like water
Her husband's been chosen
By father and mother
But her heart already
Belongs to another
Oh woe! And oh angst!
Yeah, it's piled on thick
And most of the readers
Are gonna be sick

-:-

P is for Paris
Just swimming in prose!
Her lips weren't pink only
They bloomed like a rose!
Like wheat in the sunshine
The gold of her hair
Her eyes, how they sparkled
As clear as the air!
Her skin was as white
As the robe of a saint
And it's that lack of iron
Keeps making her faint

-:-

Q is for Qing
She's the Chinese exchange
Her manners are foreign
Her habits are strange
She's odd and exotic
She dresses in silk
Eats rice for her breakfast
And never drinks milk
A stereotype walking
On feet bound up small
The author did clearly
No research at all

-:-

R for Rhiannon
Got brought up by a pack
Of wolves in the wild
One would think that she'd lack
For poise and good manners
But she's got 'em in spades
Perhaps that is how
Every she-wolf behaves
There's only one chapter
But quite clear to see
That poor helpless werewolf
Will get paired with she

-:-

S for Serena
Who changes her form
When she wants she can become
A white unicorn
Both tigers and eagles
Are shapes she can take
A big golden dragon
A small silver snake
A galloping mustang
A peacock of blue
The woman's a one-person
Portable zoo

-:-

T is for Tracey
The coolest of cool
Most popular chick
At her old wizard school
But here things are different
She's all but unseen
The others don't like her
And everyone's mean
It's all 'bout the in-crowd
And the reader infers
That in the end Trace
Will say vengeance is hers

-:-

U is for Umbra
Which isn't a name
But in the end really
There's worse stuff to blame:
Her surname is either
'MacKay' or 'MacBride'
The story says both
It can't seem to decide
That's about as much sense
As this fic ever makes
Especially since it lacks
Paragraph breaks

-:-

V for 'Virginia'
Who used to be canon
'Til one day along came
A writer named Shannon
Now Gin's into cutting
And punk-rocker bands
And writes poems 'bout the pain
That no-one understands
But her parents don't worry
To any degree
Because just like their daughter
They're both OOC

-:-

W stands for
One Wendover Sable
She started off Sue-some
Right out of the cradle
The poor foundling baby
Was given a home
By snobby, rich wizards
Brought her up like their own
And should any point out
That this ain't realistic
Just watch as the author
Goes fully ballistic

-:-

X is for Xanthe
Who isn't a Sue
Like any good character
She's got flaws, too
Her hair isn't curly!
Her nails she bites!
She's scared of the dark
When she turns out the lights!
So many things
That could get in the way...
But they'll never stop Xanthe
From saving the day

-:-

Y is for Yarrow
Who's better than teacher
At seeing tomorrow
In every small feature
In fact, she's so good
That she tutors the classes
And with her instructing
All students get passes
Yet when she predicts ruin
Woe is her - no one hears!
So much for the love
And respect of her peers

-:-

Z is for Zuli
Her name is Zuliekha
But she keeps it short 'cause
That's tough on the speaker
She sings and she dances!
She's mastered disguise!
She chit-chats with snakes!
She makes Julienne fries!
The reader is torn
Between laughter and gaping
Spoofs shouldn't be worse
Than the things that they're aping

I'm still hunting down the table/chair slashfic I promised too - expect more soon (hopefully).

fruitimagedump

Sat, 27 Sep 2008 00:36:54 GMT

Let's all be objectivists

Wed, 24 Sep 2008 22:27:22 GMT

Maybe not.

Fortunately,

What is in our water supply that makes it form rainbows?

Sun, 21 Sep 2008 11:37:22 GMT

Seriously, I must know. This video has spooked me.

Head, meet desk.

House of Leaves

Sun, 07 Sep 2008 14:04:21 GMT

Has anyone read House of Leaves? Is it any good?

unrelated to anything cartoon

Tue, 02 Sep 2008 17:09:31 GMT

That one got deleted, so here's something random:

www.wondermark.com

FAO: Camo, and anyone who cares

Sun, 31 Aug 2008 02:00:03 GMT

For what it's worth, I did not mean to insult you, just to wake you up from whatever self-pitying funk you'd got yourself into. If you felt insulted by me, I'm sorry. If you felt insulted by being turned down at an interview, you are taking it too personally and you are mistaken.

Quoted below, verbatim, is my response to this entry in Camo's journal. If anyone else thinks I was too harsh, please let me know.

lol wut?

Dude, seriously, you need to remove your head from your arse and get over yourself. Failing at job interviews is not a big deal, and it is not personal. I've had more horrible interviews than you've had heated debates, I know how you feel but taking it personally is not going to help.

With that out of the way, do you mind if I make a few constructive comments?

1. When an interviewer gives you feedback after an interview, it is a good thing. It is supposed to help you be more successful in the future. The definition of madness is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result - by getting feedback, you are able to change your behaviour and therefore change the outcome (ie. have a successful interview). In any case, it's likely that you probably gave quite a good interview and the interviewer thinks that if you take the feedback on board, you will probably be successful next time.

2. Appearance is important because first impressions are important. People make judgements about you from the first moment they see you, and you will get very little opportunity to correct them. Wear a bigger shirt. If you don't have one, buy one. If you can't afford to buy one, borrow one from a friend. If you can't do this, leave your top button unbuttoned and tie your tie loosely below it - that way it doesn't look like you are trying to conceal it. On an unrelated note, is you hair long enough to tie back? If so, do - it looks neater and less imposing.

3. All that talk about first impressions above is practically irrelevant anyway. What you gave when you met the interviewer for the first time was a second impression - your first impression was the phone call where you told her you would be late. Next time, find out where you are going and be ludicrously early. In this case, you made two bad impressions before you even opened your mouth, and that's hard to come back from.

4. One of the first questions you will be asked in any interview is "what do you know about the company?". The answer to your question "was I supposed to go straight to google and research the company?" is HELL YES YOU WERE. Especially with 18 hours notice and internet access at home. There is no excuse for fucking that question up at all. So you turned up late, shabbily dressed, for an interview with a company about which you knew nothing. How well did you really expect that interview to go?

5. You should at least pretend that you want the job. You know, and the interviewer knows, that this is not necessarily the One Chosen Path that your career will take. The fact that you turned up to the interview suggests that you want the job, for whatever reason, and if you don't at least behave like you want the job then you are wasting your own time and the interviewer's time. Of course, sometimes during the interview it becomes clear that it isn't the job for you, but that's normal and not a problem.

6. There is no easy way to say this, and others will probably phrase it better than me: society is not designed solely to accommodate you. There is no Paul-shaped hole into which you will easily fit if only you could find it, and even if there is, you're not going to find it by turning up to interviews for office jobs screaming (metaphorically) "take me as I am or not at all!". Nor are you so awesome that anyone is going to overlook the fact that you turned up late, looked scruffy, hadn't done the bare minimum of research, and made no effort to even appear to care about the job. Nobody will say "this guy gave the worst interview ever, but on the off-chance that he *might* be really good, let's give him a job anyway". Sorry. Had to be said.

7. The fact that there is no Paul-shaped hole in society made specially for you does not mean that society has no room for you. You have friends who are prepared to help you and hate to see you fuck yourself up like this.

I hope you're still reading this, I really do. I hope that hearing this from someone who is not a 'faceless suit' will give you some perspective on the matter, and that you will take what I said and what the interviewer said to heart. She isn't a heartless bitch, she was genuinely trying to help. Keep picking yourself up, keep learning from your mistakes and eventually you will succeed.

Making your own fun

Wed, 20 Aug 2008 14:07:45 GMT

This made me giggle enough that I had to post it here

Sorry for the small text etc.

EDIT: I should probably point out this link too, in the interests of balance
EDIT 2: Link here http://www.snopes.com/humor/letters/spree.asp

I love Ubuntu

Mon, 18 Aug 2008 01:48:54 GMT

Ubuntu is lovely. Everything about it is brilliantly easy to use, it's free, the system requirements are fairly low, it doesn't crash and you can do really cool things with the desktop like turn your windows 3D, blur them and all kinds of mental stuff. It's also ridiculously easy to install and remove software from it and everything is basically free.

I encourage everyone to download a live CD here and play about with it, and eventually install and use it. You can even run certain Windows programs in it, if you absolutely must (but don't ask me how, I'm still figuring that bit out :D.

This video is c***ting brilliant!

Wed, 06 Aug 2008 11:58:39 GMT

Aren't you glad I stuck around now matty?

Considering leaving...

Sat, 26 Jul 2008 15:31:37 GMT

I logged in to LJ today fully expecting that everyone would have given up posting and that my friends page would be totally deserted. Then I would have no problem deleting this page completely. As it is, I might not bother as it's still quite interesting to read other people's journals. But maybe I will... 'tis a tough decision to make.

final solution

Wed, 12 Mar 2008 23:25:24 GMT

Must... stop... giggling!

another bloody meme - your band's debut album

Wed, 06 Feb 2008 22:19:41 GMT

This is easy. You are going to create a band and write an publish their debut album, all via the internet.

First you will need a name for your band. Go to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random and note down the title of the article. This is the name of your band.

Secondly, you need to write you debut album. The most important thing is the title: to get the title, go to http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3 and write down the last four words of the last quote on the page. This is the title of your album.

Finally, we need to design the album cover. Go to http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days/? and save the third image you see. This is the album art. Now all you need to do is use your image editing software package of choice (*cough*photoshop*cough*) and add the title.

Examples:

People deserving death

Fri, 18 Jan 2008 23:16:05 GMT

Normally I don't go in for the whole 'stupid people deserve to die' thing, which I find to be far too popular an opinion on these intarwebs. However, in this case I will make an exception:

I want to be as happy as this guy...

Sat, 05 Jan 2008 05:10:05 GMT

The New Year

Thu, 03 Jan 2008 05:32:06 GMT

Does it really fall to me to do the out-of-context quotes from the New Year's party? I suck at these things...

The only one I can think of was

I would totally do you in that hat

And I don't believe that actually requires context...

Someone else post please... Camo or Scarf.

Anyway, New Year's party was fun, thanks to house people for providing Guitar Hero and floors to sleep on :D